Alabama Worm Farm

This phrase refers to the act of inserting earthworms into the vagina and then having sexual intercourse. The cool, crawling worms provide tremendous stimulation for both partners.

During rough sexual intercourse, the worms are pulverized into a soup. This sperm/worm coctail can be eaten straight from the vagina with a spoon, or put on crackers. Note: Alabamians are notorious for putting hot sauce on all foods, but one must be careful not to get hot sauce in the vagina.

After slow, sensual intercourse, the worms will remain in tact. Whole worms retreived from the vagina after slow, gentle sex can be added to tequila shots.

Alabamians from Wetumpka generally prefer the larger, slower moving night crawlers

If an earthworm happens to crawl out of the vagina and see its shadow, the couple will have bad sex for six weeks.

Alabamians from Prattville usually prefer the smaller, hyperactive pink wigglers

Alabamians from Chisholm generally carry pin worms, but that is a different story for a different cavity.

My hoe likes night crawlers in her Alabama Worm Farm, but I prefer pink wigglers. We both compromise and use medium sized red worms and that is what true love is all about.

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Alabama Ostrich

This term describes the act of putting a handful of sand into the vagina, prior to sexual intercourse.

This form of sex is tremendously pleasurabe when both parties are masochistic. The couple can make love until their organs are a raw, bloody mess and enjoy the endorphine rush for several minutes.

If the male chooses to perform this act out of rage, he can protect himself, somewhat, with a lubricated condom.

This type of intercourse was invented on the beaches of Gulf Shores, when the redneck first crawled from the primoidial ooze that we now call the Gulf of Mexico, and became an air breathing creature. The redneck male noticed that sand stuck to his Miller High Life bottle and and the redneck female discovered that sand stuck to her vag.

One added benefit of the Alabama Ostrich is that it removes the uncomfortable subject of the menstrual cycle, since both parties know, going in, that they will be bloody afterwards.

Furthermore, Native Americans believe that this act forms a deeper bond than the traditional act of becoming "blood brothers"

I was making love with my precious hoebag on the beach and decided to go for the Alabama Ostrich move. Her vagina looked like a bloody filet mignon afterwards, and my penis looked like a dog dick.

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