Halfwit

A spoilt layabout brat who bought his way in to Oxford University. After suffering from a bad case of posh existential angst (the kind of malaise that only posh types suffer) he embarked on a campaign of summer of love in the Big Brother house: this summer of love was whiled away killing cute little rodents with execrable singing, making obscene gestures at mature ladies, ogling anything with a pulse and crying over spilt milk. Being a work-dodging, posh boy wastrel, he mistakenly thought hippy ideology meant living off daddy's fat wallet and talking complete bollocks all day. Hobby hippies are usually to be found under a rock or in a dark corner soliloquising the mantra of "dude cool cat man, dude cool cat man..." until they cum all over their cruddy old dressing gowns. Halfwit now intends to pursue a career in politics as a Tory MP. This is good. He will join the other countless MPs who've also 'lived' a debased, shallow and superficial existence and who then go on to obtain positions of power that dictate the life entire of honest hard working individuals. This is life, this is reality, this is democracy...

Halfwit philosophising: "Like man, dude, great ambition, the desire of real superiority, of leading and directing, seems like dude to be altogether peculiar to man, and speech is the great instrument of ambition like."

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