Gutter Trout

A condom found in the gutter or on the street. Typically out of the wrapper and used.

I was walking the dog and noticed a gutter trout floating in the water.

7👍 2👎

Third World

Not being cleaned-up to interact with others. This could include recently taken a dump, not being showered, not having brushed teeth, &/or dirty home.

I'd love to have you over now, but I'm too third world.

Man, she smells third world.

63👍 54👎

holidump

The nasty, painful, stinky shit one takes after a holiday feast.

Dude 1: I just took the most disgusting holidump - greasy, runny, chunky with sputters and it smelled like something died in there.
Dude 2: What the hell did you eat?!
Dude 1: Christmas duck, lasagna, and lobster chili.

5👍 1👎

apple sauce

A man's shot load on an Apple computer from looking at too much internet porn.

Wife: Is this your jizz all over our computer!?

Husband: NO. That's just a little apple sauce.

151👍 85👎

rolling the cigar

A guy fondling himself by grabbing his cock on the outside of his pants and squeezing in a rolling manner to cause the shaft to swell and get noticed.

Whore 1: "Ooo - check him out!"
Whore 2: "Nice! He's rolling the cigar! Times to go gets me some!"

8👍 2👎

c'ard-on

The type of hard-on guys get in a car, usually while driving over a continuously bumpy road.

Guys in a car going on a camping trip:
Hey - check-out Jake - he's asleep, but has a c'ard-on.
That's funny!

Guy thinking to himself:
Damn bumpy road - giving me a c'ard-on.

7👍 5👎

spackle the toilet

a male who masterbates, flog the log, choke the chicken, jack off

Dick: Hey Condy, have you seen W?
Condy: Ya, he went to spackle the toilet, again.
Dick: AGAIN?!
Condy: Ya, you'd think he'd be more concerned about our economy being in the shitter!
Dick: What a dick!

3👍 5👎