Lansing

Traffic.

Lansing, IL, has hella traffic.

Windex

A delicious drink that is sometimes used to clean windows. It comes in multiple flavours, but all of them are the best. It can also be used as a body wash, shampoo, disinfectant, anything!

Alex: Hey Derek, do you want to drink some Windex?
Derek: Of course, thank you for asking!

Columbine

A town in Colorado where a shooting happened at the local high school on April 20, 1999. Now has become a funny joke among edgy preteens and teens in the Youtube comment section of Pumped Up Kicks.

Teen in the YouTube comment section: columbine was so cool i wish i did it
Me: Shut up, you edgy teen.
Teen: OMG CANT YOU TAKE A JOKE??

7👍 1👎

FedEx

The BEST mail service that TOTALLY delivers packages on time, and they DEFINITELY don’t break them when they come a month- I MEAN ON TIME! They would NEVER do that!

Adam: My new phone’s supposed to arrive right now, but it says it just left Tennessee. Where do we live again?
William: Minnesota. Who’s delivering it?
Adam: FedEx.
William: Well, that explains why.
Adam: I fucking hate FedEx.

merrillville

A town south of Gary, Indiana that is hella ghetto.

Police sirens are always blaring in Merrillville, Indiana.

Centerville

Centerville is a suburb of Dayton, Ohio. If you drive a bit to the left, you can find the Dayton Mall. I’d recommend taking a drive through it. There’s some nice woods, as it’s not urban.

I find it weird that Centerville, Indiana, and Centerville, Ohio, are just an hour apart from each other.

iowa

An album by Slipknot released in 2001. It was so good they named a state after it.

Andy: Have you heard Slipknot’s album, Iowa?
Max: I heard they named the state we live in after it.