mouth-shit

A synonym for vomit

"Man! I drank way too much last night! I was mouth-shitting all over the place!"

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UnInstaresting

A person who somehow manages to use Instagram/Facebook to make their life seem even shittier than it probably actually is.

"Hey did you see Mark's pic of him with that D-list celebrity he was unreasonably excited to meet?"
"No, sorry. Mark's fun to have a few drinks with, but honestly I find him pretty unInstaresting."

ass-puke

A synonym for taking a crap

"Hey, could you guys hold up? I need to go ass-puke really quick."

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the tig

The contiguous United States of America

Bill's trip to Hawaii was his first time out of the tig.