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Someone else's bonzai tree

Especially relevant in big companies. When you develop an intricate, sought after skill set, but never rise to the level that was possible from your early potential, that may have been/still could be achievable elsewhere.

Zach has a PhD from an ivy league college, and has built enviable experience, but has never risen above director level in the blue chip company he works for. He's become little more than someone else's bonzai tree, and should probably leave, in order to become a red wood.

by RandyRhoads84 October 23, 2023


Slimer

A grotesque principal in a rural consultancy in Cambridgeshire with an IQ inferior to aged, crusted ejaculate. Inherently racist, small minded and with a back-stabbing nature, who sends emails to clients such as 'WTF?'. Loathed by all, and inexplicably retained by his employer.

Stace: Skid(mark) was off with me today, I don't know why.

Clarice: Oh, slimer probably stabbed you in the back for no apparent reason.

by RandyRhoads84 May 14, 2020

31πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


The Second Coming

Pebbledashing, explosive diarrhoea that follows a bog standard stool an hour or so earlier.

Huckle: That's the second time you've had a long loo break in the past hour, everything okay?
Berry: I just pebble dashed the coach house loo, must've been the late night vindaloo.

Huckle: Ah, the second coming...

by RandyRhoads84 May 15, 2020

16πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


The Bigg Apple

Tongue in cheek name for Biggleswade, a sleepy town in Bedfordshire, England,

House prices are much lower in Biggleswade than Manhattan, the difference between The Big Apple and The Bigg Apple is more than meets the eye.

by RandyRhoads84 January 23, 2021


Strimming

Trimming anal hair so thick that a strimmer has to be used, instead of conventional means

Michael: 'What did you get up to last night Steve W?'
Steve W: 'I strimmed this bird, initially we tried anal with copious lube, but even that couldn't circumnavigate the anal forest. Tried to force my cock in but couldn't see my wood for the anal forest, so had to do some Strimming instead'

by RandyRhoads84 December 26, 2016

16πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


CR Ho

Officially known as a Contract Research Organisation (CRO), though informally referred to as CR HO in pharma.

Pharma big cheese: 10 people died in the phase III trial! What's going on?
Pharma subordinate: Let's blame it on the CR Ho, those bitches are contracted to run the trial.
Pharms big cheese: I like it. It's about time they got a dick slap.

by RandyRhoads84 November 6, 2020


Yeastie Boys

A group of men you don't like, namely a collection of irritating cunts. Plural for 'thrush' - colloquially known as a sole male irritating cunt.

Rob: Michael, what's with sawed off shotgun and machete, don't you just have a status update meeting?
Michael: Yeah but it's with the yeastie boys
Rob: I see, here's some Miconazole to add to the weaponry!

by RandyRhoads84 September 23, 2023