Bernie

A man that suffers from the Dunning-Kruger effect when it comes to interacting with women. Is a self proclaimed feminist, but every time a woman tries to critique his brain shuts down in order to preserve his inflated self esteem.

Bernies are the plague of all dating apps, social media apps and night clubs, and I would go as far as to say they are a plague to man kind. The sheer scale of the Bernie pandemic dwarves that of the current corona virus pandemic, as bernies reportedly exist on other planets, realities and solar systems.

Not all men called Bernie are Bernies, and any man, regardless of name, can be a Bernie. The most tragic aspect of the nature of the Bernie is that he can never become self aware as it would be too harmful to his sense of self, and his personal reality. If a Bernie were to become self aware (there are no reports of this happening ever across both time and space) it is theorised that he would spontaneously combust from the sheer shock of realising how much he sucks.

My day was going fine until Bernie invited himself into my dm’s and reminded me of his existence. I don’t know if I can live in a world like this. Oh god oh fuck someone please shoot me please