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In Monty Python's the Meaning of Life, the machine that goes "ping" is a device that doctors use to determine that the baby they're delivering is alive.
It is also the most expensive machine in the whole hospital.
"Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account."
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Possibly the worst musical ever. Written by the idiot composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, it's the retelling of the Bible story of Joseph, done through silly, lighthearted songs. The Pharaoh is depicted as Elvis (???), and there is a country song, a reggae song, and a Jazz song. All of these are anachronisms, as well as being incredibly stupid and contributing nothing to the story.
There are only two good things about Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat:
1. One of its songs makes fun of the French, which always gets a laugh.
2. It's short, proving that Webber wasn't completely heartless.
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An acronym for "Rolling On My Fucking God." A portmanteau of ROTFM (Rolling On The Floor Laughing) and OMFG (Oh My Fucking God). Used in situations that are both so funny and so absurdly idiotic that neither ROTFM nor OMFG alone would suffice.
Guy 1: "Matt told a terrorist joke while waiting in line at airport security yesterday. He is currently having his ass violated in a federal prison."
Guy 2: "ROMFG!"
Guy 1: "Wait... rolling on... what the hell?"
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Noun. A word describing an individual so stupid, so willing to disregard tenets of common sense, so oblivious to everything about everything, that if you spend too much time around him, your brains will come out of your nose and you yourself will become a fucktard.
Fucktard: (in line at airport security) "Hey, I've got a joke. How many explosive-wielding terrorists does it take to blow up an airpl-"
*He is interrupted as security guards apprehend him and take turns violating him in the ass with a nightstick.*
Guard: "I've worked here for twenty years, and that was still the biggest example of fucktardedness I have ever seen."
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A religion that supposedly embraces pain, and specifically its release through crying, as a means to move to a higher state of being.
This religion is supposedly practiced by all the members of the heavy metal group Tool, but since it is nearly impossible to find any writings about Lachrymology that aren't related to Tool, it is obvious that Lachrymology was a hoax made up by Tool.
Since several of Tool's songs attack the cult Scientology, it is likely that Lachrymology was made up as a satire of Scientology, especially since Tool has claimed that Scientology has drawn many followers away from Lachrymology.
Anyone who claims to practice Lachrymology is simply a Tool fan that hasn't put two and two together.
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