hold my gay

When your gay inhibits you from doing something, ask a friend to hold it for you

“Hey could you hold my gay for a sec? I gotta kick this guy’s chungus

Sminting

The act of intentionally consuming foods containing high quantities of fructose and lactose periodically throughout autumn so that you become notably gaseous, then later season when you engage in passive anal sex with either your partner or someone with about a 10 inch (25 cm) phallus who will willingly participate, you fart as hard as you can while squeezing your anus to make an airtight seal, (the pressure forcing a large gas bubble to erupt into the man’s urethra) then quickly pushing the entire length of his phallus out and glueing the tip of the urethra shut, after which waiting for at least one month, poking a hole in the base of his ureters (accessed through the lower back) every few days to allow for the drainage of urine, then with the completion of one month, having the man slide his penis back into your anus, the sensation of tight genital friction along with the built up sperm pressure causing the seal to instantly pop off, reinflating your anal cavity. This introduces the bacterial culture which has been festering in the man’s penis, enriching your internal microbiome if ever you fall ill during winter and take antibiotics for a prolonged period of time.

My husband and I took up sminting on account of my seasonal sinus infection, what a lad!

27👍 11👎

Bumbleboi

(Bombus boius)

-species and gender identity

The bumbleboi is a bumblebee who, unlike other bumblebees, is a kind, loving boi who just wanna help.

They can bee easily identified by their inability to pollinate normie flowers, and by their utter hatred of outdated and lazy bee movie memes, as well as by their eighteen wing segments compared to the bumblebee’s nineteen

Watch out normies! This garden is controlled by intihari bumblebois!

11👍 2👎

Maple Milk

Milk produced by a lactating Canadian man.

Most commonly used as the goop they put on poutine and as an alternative for soy.

It is often thick and gluelike, the consistency and volume depending on the T levels of the Canadian man producing the milk, lower T usually equates to higher yields and richer sauce.

Canadian betamales produce the highest grade milk when being analy sodomized by a woman using a strap-on phalus and receiving cock and ball torture simultaneously. This method is called Patookinee and creates a product with a gobsmacking syrup-like stickiness and taste.

The milk produced north of Saskatoon exits the nipples as thin frozen shards, known as Chibuck Nuggets or Chibougeri if you’re a dirty French. Milking Chibuck is described as an intense euphoric agony.

“I heard you met the prime minister! Please tell me you exchanged you maple milk”

“Maple milk eh.”

“My girlfriend cheated on me eh, gonna go maple milk myself and hope she takes me back tomorrow.”

“Oh I’m sorry about that, didn’t mean to squirt ya, just as you walked by I saw a Muslim migrant holding hands with my wife and I guess I got a little exited...”
“Oh fine fine, I shouldn’t’ve walked through your blast radius, but frankly I’m just amazed that your maple milk managed to shoot out two metres through your shirt!”
“Well yeah, that’s the power of progress...
**O Canada crescendos in the background**

knowing my wife is zer own person, that I don’t own zer body... it’s just... it’s- uh-oh! I feel it coming again! QUICK grab a bowl of poutine! This is good shit right here, I don’t wanna waist it!”
“Ah! All I’ve got is this doughnut, unbutton your shirt and lets glaze this beaut!”

Bovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Something commonly said although it sounds like bofffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, it isn’t.

“I say to you, bovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!”
“Bovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv me in the ass, important.”

5👍 2👎

Twincest

Incest between twins

“I enjoy twincest porn.”
“My little brother and sister engage in twincest and I like to watch through the keyhole while I bop the ole’ chode.”
“Jaimie and Cersei Lanister on Game of Thrones have a twincestuous relationship.”
“Twincest is wincest.”

5👍 3👎

Betamales

Men who are lower ranking in the social hierarchy and surrender their right to mate to alphamales, displaying their submission visually by widely opening their mouths and vocally through “yaaaaass!”

A flock of betamales congragates at a local Starbucks, as you can see, they’re on the hunt for soy

67👍 39👎