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Texas Governor Greg Abbott, following the passage and court reinstatement of Texas H.B. 20, a Texas law that imposes censorship limitations on websites active in Texas.
"Greg Abbott is a little piss baby."
"Do I discern a tautology?"
Any exhaustingly and/or exasperatingly long walk through Las Vegas, usually resulting from a gross misjudgment of the distance between points due to the flat landscape and oversized buildings.
Dad led us on another Las Vegas death march today - "Oh, come on, we're not wasting good money on a taxi! Rio is right over there!" You'd think he'd learned his lesson after the Circus Circus fiasco!
34π 1π
Said in recognition of an ignoble, foolish, and/or unintended accomplishment, preferably one's own.
"Christmas" has an H in it, Mr Baldrick. And an R. Also an I, and an S. Also T and M and A and another S. Oh, and youΓ’ΒΒve missed out the C at the beginning. Congratulations, Mr Baldrick! Something of a triumph, I think - you must be the first person ever to spell "Christmas" without getting any of the letters right at all.
Drinking multiple glasses of water before going to sleep, to help ensure you wake up early due to the need to pee. (Allegedly a technique used by the Apache during the Apache Wars to wake up for pre-dawn raids.)
I got in at 3:00 AM so I set my Apache alarm clock to get up for my 8:00 class. I had to pee so bad I thought I'd put a hole through the toilet...
47π 5π
Doing a shot of Jager at the same time you're breaking the sound barrier.
Just as my F-16 hit Mach 1, I downed a shot of Yeagermeister from the flask I hid in my flight suit.
16π 11π
A tagline added to posts that reveal the author's age, which is higher than he/she would otherwise care to admit. It plays on the clichΓΒ© of the elderly yelling at kids who trespass on their lawns.
"You've got it easy with broadband. When I got my first AOL account, I had a 14.4K modem that I paid $150 for. Now get off my lawn! :-)"
621π 96π
Cheap fortified wine, in particular the type drunk by winos on skid row such as Mad Dog, Night Train, and Thunderbird. Winos often "fortify" wine with other alcohol, including denatured alcohol such as rubbing alcohol and sterno.
But you take that Sneaky Pete 1 stuff they're drinkin' nowadays. That's wors'n anything! Nah .... I would'n touch'a stuff! That Sneaky Pete drives a man crazy! And it ain't nothin' but cheap wine! That's all it is! You know that guy, crazy Mike, who's always comin'in here makin' trouble? He got that way drinkin' that Sneaky Pete stuff! I won't touch it. I wouldn't touch it if you give me all'uh money in the world! I wouldn't touch a drop of it! No sir!
110π 56π