Catalonian Roulette

A Person, usually female, takes several slow to medium acting laxatives. Several males, usually four, then punch the bottom out of a chair and sit her down on it, placing themselves around the chair they take it in turns to place their heads under it for a set amount of time, usually around 10 to 20 seconds. Eventually the female will shit upon the head of one male meaning he is the looser. The other males will proceed to kick him in the groin area as he is being defecated upon

Liz "Happy Birthday Johnny, as a special treat I brought some laxatives with me, now we can play Catalonian Roulette"

Johnny "No freaking way, that is totally awesome, this is gonna be the best Birthday ever"

Matt "Sound frickin sweet, I hope I dont loose again, last time you guys kicked me in the crotch so hard I was pissing blood for a week"

40👍 21👎

Through the Joking Glass

When you start telling a joke or a story, realise halfway through that the listeners are not going to find it funny, but have already committed to telling it and feel obligated to finish.

Guy 1: A man goes into a ...(tharr be more)bar and asks for a Bulgarian Carpet Bomb...
Girl: Ewww that's gross!
Guy 1: Erm, yeah, anyway, and so, erm, the bartender...
Guy 2: Man, you are so Through the Joking Glass.
Guy 1: Shut up you Mantraitor

51👍 19👎

Haggis Surprise

Where some guys exhume a recently dead person's stomache and then fuck it
After ejaculating they shit into it, mix in entrails and ideally some period blood and then cooks it and serve it to somoene with some delicious chocolate (shit) sauce

Guy 1: 'I Invited some guys over to watch die hard on saturday night, instead we ended up giving my neighbour our haggis surprise'

Guy 2: 'Sweet man I cant belive I missed it'

42👍 24👎

Chocolate Cheese Toasty

A guy shits into a girls vagina, then quickly slips his cock in and fucks her until he jisms into her cunt, then he gets down and tucks into the delicious chocolate-cheese toasty he has created

Bailey: Gee Veronica not only do I really need a shit, am desperately horny, but I'm hungry as hell as well

Veronica: Dont worry Bailey, how about we cook up a sumptuous chocolate cheese toasty

Bailey: Oh wow, what an idea, they're my favourite

51👍 27👎

Sunderland Leapfrog

Practice originally from Sunderland, differing slightly from the Liverpudlian Leapfrog. Commonly used as a competition to settle arguments but can be done for fun.

One Male and One Female each take equal amounts of laxative. The male proceeds to have sex with the female who maintains a leapfrog type position. After the male has reached orgasm as he is about to defecate he leaps over the female spraying her with his chocolaty insides attempting to conver large amounts of her body. This constitutes a victory for the male

The female can achieve victory if she defecates on the man before he reaches orgasm or if the man shits before finishing sex (see Hamburg Oil Spill)

The man can claim a draw if just before the woman defecates he 'plugs' her anus with his manhood

Overs: My dad is better at rimming than your dad

Overs Mum: No way, my dad is far better at rimming

Overs: Lets settle this with a Sunderland Leapfrog

Overs Mum: But you come so quickly, ill never win

Overs: Let your shit covered face be the lesson, my dad is rimming king

Overs Mum: on the plus side your ass product is rather tasty

39👍 19👎

Belgian Double Chocolate Pump

Similiar to a Belgian Chocolate Pump, but with one added pump of delicious chocoloate

Several weeks supply of liquid shit are stored, and kept liquidy via constant stirring

Attaching this shit to a firemans hose the goodness is then pumped out toward the arsehole of th participant, attempting to fire as much of the liquidy shit inside him as possible

Ultimately the nozzle is forced inside the anus while liquid shit is pumped inside

To make it a double pump the nozzle is quickly removed
and liquid shit is then pumped out of the anus onto the face and body of the person with the hose

Jas: Er dude what are you doing with all that stored liquid shit

Rose: I dno man i just thort it wud b cool to keep it around

Jas: man why dont we have a belgian chocolate pump

Rose: fuck that for a game of chinese checkers with a kebab afterwards, why not make it a belgian DOUBLE chocolate pump

Jas: dude you blow my mind

Rose: and you blow my cock

45👍 23👎

Chocolate Toothbrush

A common act between gay males, when one man's rectum is full of shit the other pummels his anus with his dick, thus getting it covered in chocolate. The first man then kneels down and brushes his teeth with his new chocolate tooth brush

Elliott: Damn man I forgot to bring my toothbrush to this man only sleepover

Robbie: Dont worry Kingy wait till you need to shit then I'll give you a chocolate toothbrush

Elliott: Thanks mate, I love it when you slam into my arse

52👍 36👎