Popcorn Addict

Someone who despite telling you that they are indeed on a diet and have left their favorite movie theater snack behind, would willingly sacrifice their own child to the almighty Orville Redenbacher in exchange for a singular kernel with which to pop and consume happily, knowing that their first born child is forever gone in return for a measly kernel.

Jack: "Hey man how's your diet going?"
*Visibly has popcorn*
Jack: "Hey what gives man I thought you gave that up?"
Matt: "Not since Timmy left.."
Jack: "Excuse me?"
Matt: "SHIT! MY POPCORN'S BURNING! HANG ON!"
Jack: "Your a goddamn Popcorn Addict."