asshat

Technical jargon describing the peculiar headgear favoured by grumpy, ageing Canadian progressive rock drummers.

Based on obscure ethnic designs, years of refinement and development have gone into the Asshat, to bring the style to the pinnacle of apparently pointless stupidity it now represents.

Believed to be lined with weapons-grade tinfoil (presumably to keep at bay the mental probing of obsessed "fans" - particularly those ghastly Eurotrash) and worn at all times by said grumpy old tub-thumping curmudgeon. Unfortunately it seems that there is no ego-curbing side effect to the lining process, meaning that the frequency & duration of drum solos has remained undiminished.

Formerly produced by the million in foul, pestilent African sweatshops, & made by children working for a single cup of damp sand per week, Asshats are now individually commissioned at a cost of thousands of Canadian Dollars per unit. The economic growth this has brought about means that many of the former sweatshop employees are now in fact controlling shareholders in the Canadian music industry.

"You're wearing an Asshat! Just like Neil Peart's! Didn't you know that design's protected by copyright? You're bleedin' nicked, me old beauty!"

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