River

River is a MALE whos is STRAIGHT. he is not GAY. SUPER STRAIGHT! yes he is well hung, yes he is educated, yes he does woman studies, yes he is a 'womaniser', yes he watches beastality, yes he is large. This is river we are talking about.
59

Bunda

road

Sexy Girl Lady: "Hey, did you see that River guy? I heard he's the baddest Poo Crewer around!"
John Oates: "He slobbered on my nip!"