Blackpool

Soul-destroying grey seaside town which has cleaner sewage than beach water.

Has the highest number of drug addicts in UK.

High rate of litter.

Has at least 2 Cash Converters, where you can convert stolen goods into drugs.

Blackpool tower, the rejected offspring of the Eifel tower, which has unique magnetic properties that not only attract metallic bling, but also baseball caps and tracksuits from around the country. (Unlike the Eifel tower, which attracts tourists from around the globe).

A brilliantly named "bargain booze" can be found on almost every street.

Ranks somewhere in the middle of the top ten worst towns / cities for unemployment.

Residents typically support Man Utd. However, when the local team started to squeeze its way into the premier league, many became "dual" supporters of both teams.

Common local slang includes "'Ere ye are" which typically translates to "excuse me", but can also be used alternatively when antagonizing someone. (Emphasis on the "H" not being pronounced).

Whistling is considered a talent.

Only place in the UK where you'll hear / see more fireworks on the 4th November than you will on the 5th.

Speaking in basic English, not smoking, or not acting like a general twat will render you a "posh cunt".

War memorial now gets traditionally desecrated at least once a year, as of last decade.

Hordes of generic, big-eared youths.

Typical Blackpool chav: "'Ere ye are m8 you gorra spare fag?"

Presumed "posh cunt": "No, I don't smoke"

Typical Blackpool chav: "'Ere ye are, you taking the piss? 'Ere ye are, 'ere ye are, 'ere ye are".

174👍 62👎