Shakespeare Dump

When you go to take a dump and it is very loud and violent sounding yet nothing has come out. It is full of sound and fury; signifying nothing.

I am so upset. I thought I had to deuce but it turned into a Shakespeare Dump - it was loud and gross sounding, but nothing came out.

Wherewithballs

Having both the capability and the balls to do something.

That's an interesting business proposal, but I don't think you have the wherewithballs to pull it off. Sorry - I'll have to pass.