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While doing a woman from behind in her vagina, bringing one of your testicles up and over your penis and inserting it in her anus. Which is harder then getting a 'dog in a tub'....
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When doing a vertical 69, with your feet on the ground and her legs straight up in the air. Put both elbows straight out with your hands at your chest/her crotch. Split each hand into two sets of two fingers (pointer & index fingers, ring & pinkie fingers), like Spock. Insert both sets of ring & pinkie fingers in her anus, insert both sets of pointer & index fingers in her vagina. Then proceed to curl all fingers and move your forearms/her body up and down vigorously, holding on inside of her.
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Stick your hand in a can of Crisco until it's lubed all around. Then insert your hand/fist in a woman's rectum until your watch tickles her stink star.
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When you're having sex with a woman you just met on the beach. You come inside her then throw sand in her eyes so she can't identify. Then you run away.
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When receiving oral pleasure from a woman, pull out of her mouth and cum in your hand. Then wipe your hand in her hair.
When a woman is giving a man oral pleasure then he pulls out and comes in her eye. Then when she's getting up he kicks her in the shin. So she's hopping around on one leg with one eye closed, mumbling and cursing. Hence the creamy pirate...
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