Kapcake

First go to a Scottish village where you need to find kid called Kacper. Break into the young virgins house and take the ornamental kilt off of the wall and strangle him to death with it. After the virgin is dead invite your girl and your best friend round to his house. And proceed to have sex with your girl on top of the dead Kacper young body whilst your best friend watches and jacks off. Your girl need to be sick onto her crotch area while naked and you do the same. Continue to finger the girl pushing all the chunks inside of her pussy. You then continue to eat her pussy getting as much chunks out as you can all while your best friend awkwardly jacks off.

'I wanted to treat my girl... so I took her for a Kapcake'

Shitfire

Spike your girls drinks with strong laxatives. Then provide to have snap sex, she will try to squirm away to get to the toilet but pull her down as she begins to shit on your dick. Once you feel shit on tour dick, grab her by her hair and her feet and bend her in a position so her ass is facing in the direction of something/someone you want to cover in shit. Proceed to violently shake her until she begins to spray shit everywhere.

'Rosie gave me an angry penguin last week, so I got pay back by giving her the shitfire last nigh'

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