Ukrainian Car Wash

1) When you tow a captured Russian tank to the nearest car wash with your tractor, and, while using the pressure sprayer on the tank, the vibrations in the hose, which happens to be between your legs, cause you to experience a spontaneous orgasm.
2) When you're masturbating in the tub using the removable shower head, and at the moment of crisis, you scream out, "Русский военный корабль, иди нахуй!" ("Russian ship, go fuck yourself!"), and then you go plant sunflowers in your garden.

I had a really stressful day, so I'ma head upstairs and treat myself to a Ukrainian Car Wash before dinner. No matter what you hear coming from the bathroom, DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR.