Matt Smith

Flawless hipster cutie who plays the 11th Doctor on popular sc-fi British TV show Doctor Who. He wears scarves and patterned jumpers, he has perfectly coiffed hair and he does some mad dancing.

Friend 1: I think I'm pregnant...
Friend 2: What?! Why??
Friend 1: I just saw a picture of Matt Smith.

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River Song

Played by Alex Kingston, River Song is the mysterious traveller of space and time who first appeared in the eighth episode of the fourth season of Doctor Who. River Song refuses to tell The Doctor who she is, saying she can't give him "spoilers". As of yet, who she is is still unknown, and fans everywhere have long speculated about her true identity. According to the writers of the show, this will be revealed in the sixth season.

River keeps a diary of The Doctor's life, which he isn't allowed to look at. She calls him "sweetie", which has caused viewers to wonder if their relationship goes beyond friendship. Since River and The Doctor keep meeting at different points in time and space, their timeline is rather messed up.

An example of her mysteriousness:

The Doctor: River... Who are you?
River Song: You're going to find out very soon now, and I'm sorry, but that's when everything changes.

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Chris Colfer

Chris Colfer play an openly gay student on the popular tv show Glee. He won a Golden Globe for his insane talents, which just goes to show all the dicks that bullied him in high school.

Bully 1: Hey do you remember Chris Colfer from high school?
Bully 2: Yeah I heard he just won a Golden Globe.
Bully 1: Man we really should have been nicer to him.

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