Perth and Portsmouth

An affliction of the stomach normally caused by the eating of dodgy kebabs and the like, causing simultaneous sickness and diarrhea.

The location of projectiles from the human body mirroring the locations of aforementioned towns on a UK map.

Erik "What was wrong with you yesterday"

Norman "I had a dodgy takeaway on Sunday which din't half give me some jip the following morning"

Erik "oh Aye, how bad was it"

Norman "It wasn't good, it was Perth and Portsmouth"

Spit Dabs

A person who appears to have an uncanny resemblance to someone else.

derived from the phrase "spitting image double"….taken from the 80’s/90’s tv series…..by rights it should really be “spit dubs” but the 'U' was dropped in favour of the 'A' at some point, it may well have been of "saarf Landan" decent.

"Here Geeza, you seen that bird over at the bar? She looks the Spit Dabs of that tasty bit off the television".

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