University of Houston

The greatest institute of higher learning in the state of Texas. Far more advanced than any of those other so-called "nationally ranked" Texas schools like TU, or the school with the gaggle of maroon attired morons. The U of H mascot is a fierce predator, and the University's hand symbol is "The Shocker," a popular and entertaining sex act. The only downside to this august bastion of knowledge in the south is the fact that it nearly requires committing a murder in order to find a parking space on the primarily commuter campus.

"An Aggie, a Longhorn, and a University of Houston Cougar walk into a bar..."

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