if a frog had wings

That definition isn't right. The phrase "If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'" means that if a person didn't have to put up with a lot of shit or deal with a shitty situation, they wouldn't. If the frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'.

Jim: Hey Bob, how come every girl you have sex with is a real brown bagger?
Bob: If a frog had wings...

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