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freshie

1. The holy grail of footwear, a brand-spankin’-new pair of shoes (or other garment) that you summon from the mystery backroom after enduring the tragic fate of trying on fungus-infested display models.

2. That euphoric moment when you confidently declare, “I’ll take a freshie!” to the part-time, acne-faced employee, who now understands that your standards are higher than Skid Row, LA.

3. The embodiment of newness with the sweet smell of retail victory, often accompanied by a boss strut upon exiting the store, because nothing says "I’m winning" like a new pair kicks that haven't been through months of fake-buyers who pretend they can afford $19 sneakers.

“My friend thought he could pull off the display shoes until I said, ‘Bro, those are so far gone, you need a freshie and a therapist!’”

“When I asked for a new, fresh pair of shoes Jamal looked at me like I was downs. Whoa playa. I'm not the sucka working at Dick's for minimum wage. New fetch my freshies!"

by Sam_Joanneski October 17, 2024


freshie

1. The holy grail of footwear, a brand-spankin’-new pair of shoes (or other garment) that you summon from the mystery backroom after enduring the tragic fate of trying on fungus-infested display models.

2. That euphoric moment when you confidently declare, “I’ll take a freshie!” to the part-time, acne-faced employee, who now understands that your standards are higher than Skid Row, LA.

3. The embodiment of newness with the sweet smell of retail victory, often accompanied by a boss strut upon exiting the store, because nothing says "I’m winning" like a new pair kicks that haven't been through months of fake-buyers who pretend they can afford $19 sneakers.

“My friend thought he could pull off the display shoes until I said, ‘Bro, those are so far gone, you need a freshie and a therapist!’”

“When I asked for a new, fresh pair of shoes Jamal looked at me like I was retarded. Whoa n*gga. I'm not the retard working at Dick's for minimum wage. New fetch my freshies!"

by Sam_Joanneski October 16, 2024


freshie

1. The holy grail of footwear, a brand-spankin’-new pair of shoes (or other garment) that you summon from the mystery backroom after enduring the tragic fate of trying on fungus-infested display models.

2. That euphoric moment when you confidently declare, “I’ll take a freshie!” to the part-time, acne-faced employee, who now understands that your standards are higher than Skid Row, LA.

3. The embodiment of newness with the sweet smell of retail victory, often accompanied by a boss strut upon exiting the store, because nothing says "I’m winning" like a new pair kicks that haven't been through months of fake-buyers who pretend they can afford $19 sneakers.

“My friend thought he could pull off the display shoes until I said, ‘Bro, those are so far gone, you need a freshie and a therapist!’”

“When I asked for a new, fresh pair of shoes Jamal looked at me like I was trippin. Whoa slow down playa. I'm not the chump working for minimum wage. New fetch my freshies!"

by Sam_Joanneski October 17, 2024


freshie

1. The holy grail of footwear, a brand-spankin’-new pair of shoes (or other garment) that you summon from the mystery backroom after enduring the tragic fate of trying on bacteria-infested display models.

2. That euphoric moment when you confidently declare, “I’ll take a freshie!” to the part-time, acne-faced employee, who now understands that your standards are higher than Skid Row, LA.

3. The embodiment of newness with the sweet smell of retail victory, often accompanied by a strut upon exiting the store, because nothing says "winning" like a new pair kicks that haven't been through months of fake-buyers who pretend they can afford $19 sneakers.

“My friend thought he could pull off the display shoes until I said, ‘Bro, those are so far gone, you need a freshie and a therapist!’”

“When I asked for a new, fresh pair of shoes JayQuon looked at me like I was crazy. Whoa slow down playa. I'm not the chump working for minimum wage. New fetch my freshies!"

by Sam_Joanneski November 16, 2024