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The situation that occurs when you are wearing shoes with deep treads and you inadvertently step in a pile of relatively fresh dog crap. The crap then fills the treads of your shoes and you are now stuck with "Poop Shoe". Most of the time you do not know you have Poop Shoe until someone asks you about the rancid stench surrounding you.
The Poop Shoe lasts until one of the following things happens. 1) You wash your poop shoe off in the kitchen sink and causing your wife to hate you. 2) You wash your poop shoe off with the garden hose causing poop to spray all over you and then you hate you. 3) You give up and leave your Poop Shoe outside until the poop is hard enough to simply be shaken off by beating the poop shoe on the ground.
My God Tim! Do you not pick up your dogs crap? I only took 10 freaking steps in your yard and came down with a case of Poop Shoe!
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By law the Passing Lane or Left Lane is...wait for it....for PASSING ONLY! There are signs that state this, there are questions on the drivers test everyone took about it, but some people do not care. They see it as a way to "pass their time" instead of passing cars. They merge onto the highway at a reduced speed to completely f*ck up the flow of traffic and then make a non interrupted cut from the on ramp straight to the Passing lane. At this time, they set their cruise to 5 miles under the speed limit and pass their time preparing a hot plate meal of spaghetti o's that they can enjoy during their 3 hour occupation of the lane. They are oblivious due to their joy of eating their spaghetti o's to the 1000's of cars backed up behind them. They ignore the "LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING ONLY" signs as they drive along in their brain dead bliss listening to their self help 8 track tapes.
Hey Steve, I am bored. Let's grab a can of spaghettios and hit the highway. We can listen to Tony Robbins 8 tracks in the passing lane while leading a group of pissed off people down the highway at a parade like speed.
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A driver that seemingly comes out of nowhere at a speed much greater than yours and just as they are about to pass, they disappear in your blind spot. They then hide in your blind spot for the duration of your trip effectively stopping you from having freedom of movement or even relaxing. You can speed up, you can slow down but the Road Zombie stays fixed on you as they are the parasite and you are the host.
It is unclear why Road Zombies do what they do. Maybe their cruise control is broken or maybe they are too dumb to use it. Either way you are stuck. Your only out is to either pull over, stop and let them get ahead of you or take a quick blast at illegal speeds to shake them off. They will latch onto another car at that point but that is not your problem.
My God Peggy, we just picked up a Road Zombie. Fasten your seatbelt, I am gonna try and shake them.
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