Crippophobia

Fear of disabled people or disability

He was yet another politician suffering from Crippophobia and refused to speak with me or even shake my hand in case my disability was contagious.

foetal grand

A baby grand piano that is so tiny it is more of a foetus than a baby.

We specially hired a baby grand piano to be played at our charity concert, but the piano they delivered was sooo tiny it was surely only a foetal grand.

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bird time

The time of the morning, just on dawn when the noise of birds screeching across the sky and screaming from the trees is so

loud it wakes people out of their drink-induced comas.

My head was thumping with the most massive hangover and I'd only

crawled into bed 30 minutes earlier when the noisiest bird time I've

ever heard made it impossible to sleep.

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up gross and personal

When a really ugly and/or nerdy and/or fat and/or smelly person invades your personal space and wants to intimately get to know you.

"OH look at poor Sue. that really ugly fat guy with zits erupting all over his face has pressed her into a corner and is trying to grope her. We'd better do a rescue mission because he's getting up gross and personal."

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Cripplephobia

Fear of becoming disabled

He has a severe case of Cripplephobia; if he gets a scratch on his leg he's sure it's getting gangrenous and will need amputation, and if his vision is blurred after a heavy night on the booze, he's sure his retinas have detached and he's going blind.

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left-aways

When the take-aways are not finished and become left-overs for later consumption.

I'm going to eat the rest of the Chinese left-aways for dinner tonight.

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laughter interruptus

When the act of sexual intercourse is interrupted by the laughter of one or both participants.

"How do you expect me to keep it up when you keep making all those ridiculous jokes? I've got the worst case of laughter interruptus I've ever suffered."

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