Wood on Wood

When knocking on wood doesn’t provide enough good luck for your situation, so you smack your dick (when erect) against the tree to ensure even more good luck.

Person 1: Yeah I think I did pretty good on that test, knock on wood

Person 2: idk dude, you better do wood on wood to make sure.

11👍 3👎

Choking on Cheerios

When you’re blowing a British guy (or perhaps multiple British men) and choke on their dick and/or cum, at which point the Man responsible for the choking can say “Cheerio” if they so choose

“Hey what happened to that girl last night? She was coughing like crazy.”
“Oh dude she was totally Choking on Cheerios in the bathroom.”

Shimples

Pimples contracted from eating ass.

A combination of the words "shit" and "pimples".

Guy 1: Dude wtf is on Bobby's face?
Guy 2: I dunno man, but I think it's shimples

The Law of Ass Eating Conservation

The universal scientific law which states that for every ass-eater, there must be an accompanying ass-eatee to maintain the balance between both sides of the ass-eating spectrum. For every person who claims to be both, there must also exist a person that claims to be neither. Similar to Newton’s Law of Equal and Opposite Reactions.

Person 1: Dude I absolutely love eating ass, what about you?
Person 2: Actually, I enjoy getting my ass eaten, which means the two of us successfully satisfy the Law of Ass Eating Conservation

2👍 2👎

360° Skydiving

A more intense form of skydiving where you jump out of a plane, and skydive into another plane (thus creating a circle, so 360°). Similar to bonzai skydiving, there is no parachute, so don’t miss.

Guy 1: Hey man, what happened to Steve?
Guy 2: Oh, you didn’t hear. Steve’s 360° skydiving trip went south. He missed the second plane.
Guy 1: Damn...