Newton's Turd Law

Newton's Turd Law is a physical law described by Isaac Newton, a 16th-century British physicist and mathematician, dedicated to describing the kinetic behavior of a semi-rigid externally unconstrained fecal system of particles forming a semi-rigid body, otherwise known as a Turd. Specifically, this law focuses on the behavior of a Turd post-freefall collision.

This law is part of a set, known colloquially as Newton's Laws, collectively discovered by Newton when observing that his Turds accelerated downwards and not sideways or diagonal.

This law states that 'for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'.

Newton's Turd Law is the explanation for water splashback when taking a shit, why larger shits have appropriately larger splashbacks, and why gigantic shits could break the toilet.

We are looking forward to hosting the prestigious international physics-chemistry conference in which participants will have the opportunity to present experimental data and physical samples involving Newton's Turd Law.

If you poop in my bedroom, I will be forced by the physical law of nature known as Newton's Turd Law to defecate in your bedroom, equally by total quantity in volume, assuming a similar density of substance.

Thingaling

A temporary noun for use given to tangible or non-tangible, entities, articles, or objects that are real and truly exist, but have not yet been assigned a dedicated noun for use by the Shadow International High Commission on the English Language (SIHCEL)

The commonly used noun, 'thing', is the shortened form of 'thingaling'. In legal, formal, elite, and academic styles, of English, 'thingaling' is used, as opposed the usage of 'thing' by the uneducated, denegerate, lowly working class

That thingaling in my head is keeping me up at nights, distracting me from work, and filling me with stress and visceral fats

Will Ferrell Shakespeare, a 16th century English author, playwright, and all-round boffin, now dead, was the author of the comprehensive treatise on romance and general sociology, still in reference by the boffin community of today, entitled Much Ado About Nothingaling

I ate somethingaling at the corner Mexican restaurant last night, and I can't remember what, but I shat my bed and I'll be spending the week at your apartment