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Saskatchewan

The big, flat, rectangle in the middle of Canada with a name that anyone who's not from Saskatchewan pronounces wrong. For future reference--"Sas-KATCH-ew-un" OR "Sas-KATCH-ew-in" OR "Sas-KATCH-ew-en" is acceptable. . .but not not not Sas-katch-ew-WAAAAAN. If you say it that way, it just screams you're from Ontario. Or Texas.

Suffer from paralyzing claustrophobia? Well, you've come to the right place Land of Living Skies, as our license plates say, is pretty accurate--that's pretty much all that's living. Our trees are generally stick thin and only look alive for four out of twelve months. Well, okay, so we're alive for a third of the year. That ain't half bad, eh?

NDP government that was elected by mostly farmers. I don't understand it, either.

The biggest city in Saskatchewan is Saskatoon, which, nope, is not the capital, even though it is home to a relatively adequate school, the University of Saskatchewan. Surprising, really.

The capital city of Saskatchewan is the city that rhymes with fun--Regina. A city that is composed of three quarters flatness, and one quarter man-made lake full of goose crap. It's a pretty exciting place to be.

Saskatchewan is full of names like Moose Jaw and Swift Current and Prince Albert and North Battleford. Apparently Saskatchewan has a thing for two-worded names. Except the original Cree is probably one long word that is slowly being forgotten along with the majority of their culture. Unfortunately.

Speaking of unfortunately, there is an unfortunate amount of racism in Saskatchewan. But hey, teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, and I'm sure the province can continue to turn a blind eye to the racism and social problems that exist, and people will continue to never know where the hell Saskatchewan is.

But they're missing out!

Tourist: Hey, can you show me around Edmonton?
Saskatchewanian: Sorry, I'm not from Alberta.

Tourist: Hey, can you show me around Calgary?
Saskatchewanian: Sorry, I'm not from Alberta.

Tourist: Fuck this, I just want to get to Ontario!
Albertan: Well, you'll have to go east through Saskatchewan and Manitoba first.
Tourist: What?! I only have a Canadian passport?? Wait, is this one of those French speaking places?
Albertan: You mean Quebec?
Tourist: Yeah!
Albertan: Dude, just go to Vancouver.

by Sekhet666 November 8, 2006

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