Automatic Head Removal Syndrome

An individual with Automatic Head Removal Syndrome (AHRS) will live a life of incessant and unending suffering of which any form of mercy is confiscated, and all hope is instantly overshadowed by uncontested despair. They are forced against their will to commit horrific acts that no one should see. In the event eye contact is made, the individual will become instantaneously incapacitated until the deed is done, that deed being the beheading of the viewer. The process is swift, but undoubtedly agonizing and traumatic. The individual may only watch from an empty shell as the murderous act is executed. Those suffering from AHRS may also have a stinky wiener hole.

Gay: Do you have automatic head removal syndrome?
ARHS: Please stand by while head is removed

Exit Pants

The term “exit pants,” originating from popular culture of the early 1200s, comes from the Latin root “pantus exeunt”. It refers to a moment, or succession of life sentences, in which the subject in question removes their pants upon a vision from God. This vision is usually instigated upon the influence of heavily sedated elephants in stampede. In this event the person, or gay, would kneel before the elephants, and simply remove pants.

Jeffy Jeong: exit pants, please