Sex Buffer

when your friend is going out with another person, and they invite you along for the sole purpose of making sure the third person doesn't think it's a date.

in effect, your friend asks you to come along, just to defuse the sexual tension and make sure nothing happens without them having to verbally reject the other party.

note: Sex Buffers work best when you and the third party are of the same gender so they don't try to invite a 4th person to make this into a Forced Double Date

Guy 1: hey what did you do last night?
Guy 2: i went to the bar with that girl i was telling you about...
Guy 1: niiiice. did you hit it?
Guy 2: no! she brought her roommate as a sex buffer. he kept getting in between us and cockblocking me.

53👍 6👎

Mexican Fireworks

when a guy is close to finish, he pulls out and yells "Arriba!" (hence, mexican) as he gives the girl a "Money Shot" (therefore, fireworks)

Girl 1: what was all that commotion from your bedroom? and what happened to your face? why is it sticky?

Girl 2: he gave me Mexican Fireworks...

Girl 1: eww

54👍 4👎

unvestment

The opposite of making an investment. Often realized as such when looking back in hindsight.

When you gain a short term goal by wasting long term prospects.

- turns out buying that 50,000 dollar sports car was a huge unvestment.