Chris Christie

A crooked, wealthy wop that somehow got elected into a governor's position for the state of New Jersey. Has been a part of numerous scandals and has no concept of livable wages and considering his size, probably consumes more than the weight of an oil tanker in calories each day. He can be found lounging on beaches that he has closed to the public, primarily because he's a hypocritical shit biscuit who likes to laugh about how much better he is than everyone else. Has managed to somehow piss off just about everyone in the tri-state area at the same time with his numerous construction projects to improve roads that were fine until he started smashing up the pavement. Probably in bed with the mafia or some other criminal organization, hence his "no one can touch me" attitude. The world would be a better place if he choked to death on one of those aforementioned donuts he seems to enjoy so much.

"Hey, man; did you hear about Chris Christie closing the public beaches this weekend?"
"Yeah, the memes about him were fantastic."

"You could feed Africa's entire population for a month with the food Chris Christie consumes in a day."

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