Wooden the Day

Wooden the Day means having a good morning after a bad night, often a sleepless night due to alcohol consumption but parenting is also a common cause.
Woodening the day is often active, so a person strives to wooden their day by choosing to partake in positive experiences which will require little concentration and mental effort.

"The toddler wouldn't stop crying but we woodened the day with a mimosa brunch."
"Honey, can you get me an Advil? It would totally wooden the day."
"After you clean up we can head back to Barnie's. That should wooden your day."

House Gecko

A house gecko is a light-hearted, fun seeking floozy, having sex with one partner with already seeking the next one.

Forget about her, dude. She's fine, but she's a house gecko.