not you

either the most humiliating, or most relieving two words in the human language.

Girl: "There's this really cute guy i like in my third hour class."
Guy **looks hopeful**
Girl: "Not you."

Guy: "I CANNOT STAND THAT WOMAN!"
Girl **looks hurt**
Guy: "Not you."

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single awareness day

A made up holiday that overlaps valentine's day for people too ugly or crazy to get some.

Happy Single Awareness Day! I'm so lonely...

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