Russell Brand

A Noxious Oily Parastic Secretion found between the Buttocks of Z-List celebrities like Jonathon R(w)oss. A person afflicted with Russell Brand has little hope of recovery, as its narcotic secretions lull the victim into complete delusion.

Reporter: 'Man, whats that evil stench?'

Jonathon Woss: 'Oh Sowwy mate, me Wussell Bwands is pwayin' up a bit at the mo'.

Katy Perry: 'Jeez, I must change my stinkin' under-skidders, the smell is makin' me want to puke my ring!'

Russell Brand: ' Oh Verily, and Gadzooks, the Rotten Stench from Thy Crotch is Me,.... Sir Russell Of Brands,... Aborted Foetus of Jo Brand, Forsooth... and Verily!

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