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Santa

The obese Unholy being that can manage to go down the tiniest chimney in existence. He is literally god, he can see you everywhere, and he'll check your behavior like a babysitter.

Child: I LOVE SANTA

Dream Crusher: He sneaks into your house, steals your stuff, feels bad and gives you some of the things he doesn't use, then he leaves reality until December 25th.

Child: My mother shall hear about this

Child: I LOVE SANTA

Dream Crusher: He sneaks into your house, steals your stuff, feels bad and gives you some of the things he doesn't use, then he leaves reality until December 25th.

Child: My mother shall hear about this

by Sir.Person August 31, 2020


Santa

The man born of a satanic ritual to haunt adults and please children. First off to start the madness of this "creature", he is insanely fat and doesn't have diabetes. Second, he gets stuck in chimney's bigger than him. Last, he sneaks into your house, knows when you sleeping and awake, so he basically knows everything about every human in the history of the world.

Santa: *gets summoned out of pentagram* time to "investigate the humans

Little child: I PROMISE TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR SO I CAN GET A SINGULAR HOTWEEL

Parents: he wishes Santa was real.

Santa: *breaks window and lands on floor*

Obnoxiously Loud Child: YOUR REAL???? GIVE ME EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST, NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Santa: I am going home now. *gives child a string and some shotgun shells*

Child: BEST. GIFT. EVER!!!

by Sir.Person July 19, 2020