Motel

Small convenient stop off point generally found just off highway exits. Sometimes stayed at after a long drive or after picking up that STD infested hottie on the street corner for a quickie.

The wallpaper consists of dull colours and patterns of those used in the 1970’s. The bed is one grade up from the comfort of one found in a prison cell and still has a short trail of sperm hanging from the lower corner from the previous occupants’ adventures from the night before. Bathrooms occasionally have locks on the door and are just big enough so that when you open the door, there is about 1cm between IT and the bath tub. Toilet paper is single-ply and comes off in small individual squares and shower curtains are brown, sticky, moldy, and never long enough to reach from one wall to the other leaving a puddle of water for when you get out. Finding the right combination of hot and cold to get a decent temperature is near impossible. Turn the tap a fraction too far and the chlorine water is hot enough to sear the eyeballs from your skull. If you didn’t bring any shower gel with you, don’t worry. Some is provided for you in convenient little sachets. These things are great and leave your body feeling sticky and dirtier than it did before.

What was that sticky stuff hanging from the bed in the motel?

252👍 58👎

motel

Small convenient stop off point generally found just off highway exits. Sometimes stayed at after a long drive or after picking up that STD infested hottie on the street corner for a quickie. The wallpaper consists of dull colours and patterns of those used in the 1970’s. The bed is one grade up from the comfort of one found in a prison cell and still has a short trail of sperm hanging from the lower corner from the previous occupants’ adventures from the night before. Bathrooms occasionally have locks on the door and are just big enough so that when you open the door, there is about 1cm between it and the bath tub. Toilet paper is single-ply and comes off in small individual squares and shower curtains are brown, sticky, moldy, and never long enough to reach from one wall to the other leaving a puddle of water for when you get out. Finding the right combination of hot and cold to get a decent temperature is near impossible. Turn the tap a fraction too far and the chorine water is hot enough to sear the eyeballs from your skull. If you didn’t bring any shower gel with you, don’t worry. Some is provided for you in convenient little sachets. These things are great and leave your body feeling sticky and dirtier than it did before.

How does dinner and a movie followed by a sleazy motel sound?

20👍 47👎