libertarianism

Noun. The belief that pursuing one's own self-interest, while shirking larger social responsibilities, is still somehow humanitarian.

Libertarianism is how the advantaged describe their neglect of the les-advantage: they're "protecting everyone's freedom" by respecting the impoverished's right to be poor.

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pants allergies

A preference for jeans, even in the work place and "grown up" world; an aversion to slacks.

I can't go to that client meeting! I have serious pants allergies!

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vegan

Noun. A vegetarian who doesn't like you.

"Hey, she's cute. You think she'd go out with me?"

"No way, man. She's a vegan."

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errand

Noun. An expedition involving the acquisition of some good, usually perceived as essential, when in fact completely unnecessary. Because errands involve a component of travel, they are often confused for a leisure activity. From the root, errant, aimless.

I had a busy day today running errands.

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autoschadenfreude

Noun. A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of yourself.

I'm just going to stay in tonight and sulk: I'm really feeling the autoschadenfreude.

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hegemonic power shopping

When well-off people (esp. white people) shop quickly, resulting in the rapid accumulation of goods from Banana Republic, J. Crew, Williams Sonoma and Pottery Barn.

Also, shopping for real estate.

He just spent four hours in SoHo doing some serious hegemonic power shopping; he must have spent at least two grand.

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alt country

"Lost my job, my house, my truck.

"Got new ones."

(The above is meant to be an example of alt country.)

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