1000 yard stare

The ability to tell (from 1000 yards or better) that a person of the opposite sex A) Has a case of fugly face B) Has perpetual bad hair days strung into a "life" C) Is so ugly that no amount of Alcohol in the world can make them look better D) Could benefit from a paper bag on their head

This stare can be useful for finding attractive people as well. You will find this useful when you need a wingman (or wingwoman) for a night, or twenty.

Dude #1 "Hey, did you see that Brunette at 4 'o' clock?"
Dude #2 "Yeah, about 1000 yards before you!"
Dude #1 "Dude! You got the 1000 yard stare!!" (Bows)

Girl #1 "Yeah, my boyfriend found me 1000 yards away.. How did you and (points to non-listening boyfriend) meet?
Girl #2 (quietly) "I caught him staring at my boobs from 2 feet away.."

32👍 593👎