Smidt

"Yeah I guess you can call me..."

-Schmit
-Schmid
-Schmeat
-Smid
-Smit
-Smiddy
-Smitty

I don't care, but call me Smiddit and I will rip your face off.

"Hey Smiddit"
*Literally rips your face off*
"Hi... It's Smidt by the way"