G-spot

An amorphous time traveling entity which lodges itself in the vaginal cavity of a select few women. When stroked, the alien, who goes by "Glaxckniod" (Though its real name is unpronounceable by the human tongue) will, as a defense mechanism, release great amounts of flesh eating acid and mind control spores into your skin. Hence females' screaming when this spot is hit - immense pain from tissue dissolving acid. In short, do not seek out this dangerous galactic pitstop within your girlfriend's minge unless using proper safety gear (hazmat suit, three-foot dildo, etc.).

"Jane felt something tingle in her nether regions, but by then it was too late. Glaxcknoid had awoken within her womb and was releasing acidic spores by the ounce, dribbling down Stan's fingers and searing through to his bone, melting his finger in a Stew of liquid teenager. In minor seconds the pain caused Jane to bite down as hard as she could, shattering her teeth and severing the tip of her tongue, causing blood to pour from her eyes, nose, and mouth simultaneously. Shortly after, Stan went into chemical shock and collapsed, flailing, on the bedroom floor." (This reenactment brought to you by the American Christian Innocence Group.)

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Selective listening

Cherry picking only what you want to hear, ignoring the rest like a narcissistic douchebag.

Sally told Jim she wanted to break up with him but they could still have dinner on his birthday and Christmas but all Jim heard was they can still have dinner. He's selective listening, he thinks they're still

dating!