Mall Feet

The condition of having unusually intense aches and pains in the feet due to exposure to shopping malls. Most commonly presented in males, presumably due to two factors. First, there is an inherent inability to withstand the excess gravity resulting from the densely packed merchandise. Second, females often burden males with the charge of carrying gratuitous quantities of purchases far greater than the typical wallet loading.

There is no cure, though treatments may include reclining chairs and bottled beverages.

"Honey, you don't need any more bags. Let's go. I'm really tired, and I've had mall feet since the food court."

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