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Long Island is an island located to the east of Manhattan, stretching in the northeasterly direction. It is home to four counties, of which two -- Brooklyn and Queens -- are Boroughs of New York City. In political and cultural contexts, however, the name "Long Island" refers to the portion of the island occupied by the remaining two counties: Nassau and Suffolk.
One of America's most vivid examples of urban sprawl, Long Island was mostly rural until the late 1940's, at which time developers began radically transforming its landscape into what became an endless sea of cookie-cutter housing and strip malls. It is characterized by overcrowding, insane transportation costs and high property taxes. Although it is socioeconomically diverse, and serene rural scenery can still be found there by those who look very hard, it is a quintessential American suburb in that it combines the worst of the urban and rural worlds: all the crowding and expense of living in the city with none of the cultural sophistication or tolerance; all the dullness of the country, with none of the bucolic charm.
Long Islanders are known for their distinctive accent, which is best described as exceedingly nasal and guttural. For example "long" is pronounced "lawn'", "coffee" is "cawffy", and someone whose name is Mark would actually be called "Mawk".
My friends bought a house in Long Island, and now their tax payments are almost as high as their mortgage payments!
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A Nice Guy is a young or middle-aged male who believes a woman owes it to sleep with him out of gratitude for basic courtesy, like opening a door or not calling her names. Believes only men who look like Abercrombie & Fitch models or possess immense fortunes ever get laid -- or at least, he keeps saying that in order to feel like there are more womanless men out there than there really are. Routinely blames women for his inability to develop and sustain relationships; or to get to a third date even. Frequently tells himself and other Nice Guys that women like to be beaten, raped and called names -- and that's why they (the Nice Guys), cannot get dates. Hides violent pornography under the floor boards. Faced with the fact that none of the women he finds attractive want to date him, concludes that there must be something wrong with women.
Joe is a nice guy, he deserves to get laid!
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