gone soft

An excuse that is made for being unable to perform a task due to equipment failure or lack of fortitude.

Bob was going to ask the girl at the bar for her number, but he went soft on the way over and just ordered a drink.

Bob's laptop battery had gone soft so he had to plug it in to continue the presentation.

Obama said a lot of things to get elected, but he's gone soft and nothing has changed.

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Taint-hoagie

A poop.

Dude, you dog just laid his taint-hoagie on my lawn. Are you gonna clean that crap up?

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Filthy Chet

A sexual act where one fingers one's partner's anus and then gives oneself or one's partner a Soul Patch with the filthy finger. Similar to Filthy Sanchez except with the added douchebaggery of a Soul Patch.

After I finished off she tried to give me the Filthy Sanchez, I backed off quick but she still got me with the Filthy Chet.

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