Douchectomy

The surgical removal of douchebaggery from an infected individual. This procedure is very risky and is typically performed only in emergencies; in severe cases where the douchebaggery has had time to metastasize the operation is often fatal.

"Listen guys, I know it's bad, but it's just too late! If we give him a douchectomy now it's going to kill him: the disease has spread so far that there won't be anything left you can see without a microscope!

....Hell, maybe that ain't so bad."