AK-47

What is made of pressed metal, shoots 7.62x39mm cartridges, and is practically indestructible? The AK-47, dumbass. The AK-47 is a gas-powered, shoulder-fired, air-cooled rifle that has won a place in the hearts of every gun enthusiast. This rifle, created by Mikhail Kalashnikov in 1947, is a stunning piece of machinery. It is cheap, can be easily assembled, and sends lead down range with the power of gunpowder and dedication to the Soviet Union. This rifle will stay fully operational for 47 years without cleaning only if you display it below a portrait of Joseph Stalin or Vladimir Lenin. This is the only firearm other than a Glock that can be run over by a tank and still operate normally. Many people will choose handguns that shoot 9mm and .45 ACP for home defense. Those people are pussies. Real men will defend their family and their pride with this beautifully designed Soviet rifle. Fuck you I am devoted to Mother Russia.

Random Guy: what do you use for concealed carry?
Me: an AK-47, mother fucker, what else.