Holmsing

When a male pleasures himself publicly, like the now-legendary incident with Holmes in the locker room (guys). This is a confirmed fact.

Alt. Definition:Wacking off in public

Excuse me, but could you PLEASE stop holmsing in front of me??

Ewww, he's HOLMSING again, make him stop, don't think things like that about meeeee!

Hey you kids, cut that out, hmmm, OH MY, what the F do you think YOU'RE doing young man?? AT LEAST do that in the Girls' locker room!

Lastly, Pacek if you don't stop holmsing, I'll sick Spader on you, and trust me, once you get Spadered, you'll never think gay thoughts again...

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spadered

When your wang has been chopped off by Spader, or your vagina has been irreparably scarred/removed via a sharpened gardening spade.

(Spading is actually an accepted practice by local cults in the C.H.S. area, so don't move there!)

He Spadered my cat, He Spadered my Hog, Then he went & took my Hot Dog!

(Rhyme of the Spadered, by C. Mullady)