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An outdoor game played with bats, a ball, and wickets by two teams of 11 players each. Very popular in England and what's left of its so called 'empire'.
The game is played by men of questionable sexuality wearing v-neck sweaters making jokes about sticky wickets. Most cricket players fantasize about being spanked by the 'bat' which is not a real bat at all, but better known in tight cricket circles as a bum paddle.
The game originated in England over 500 years ago. It is played with a ball very similar to a real baseball, which is what gives the players the impression that they're playing a real sport.
There are one, and sometimes two 'innings' in game. Given the sensitive nature of the players involved, more innings would be too taxing.
English Gentleman: "hey john wayne, want to join our cricket team?"
John Wayne: "no sir, I do not"
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A tube made of meat, used mostly for launching sperm into the atmosphere.
Generally found attached between most any mans legs, but sometimes seen walking around calling itself Bill Clinton.
I like to dress my cat up as a pirate and have her lick jelly off of my cock.
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1.) The act of doing something negative towards another person, usually unintentionally.
2.) To flush the mold out of one's unused vagina.
1.) Hey thanks for telling my boss you saw me at the beach, you totally douched me.
2.) I knew whenever my grandfather was going to get lucky because I'd see grandma go out back in the woods to douche. She'd squat near my tire swing and flush herself out. It always looked like chunky vegetable soup coming out. I'd have a hell of time keeping my dog away from it for several days afterwards, but boy grandma would smell so clean and fresh.
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Thought to be the most effective word in the english language for making ones point. It may also be sprinkled onto everyday sentences to spice them up rather dramatically.
It is often ranked higher in power than both fuck and cock combined.
Certain combinations of words have reached its effectiveness (such as 'smell my vagina it's full of pus' or 'what is that my tongue keeps hitting in your ass?') but no single word has come close.
Where cock and fuck must be used strategically for effectiveness, cunt needs no extra help. It is universally effective, regardless of the context.
The word is so powerful that it has been known to cause embarrassment when using words that sound like it. For example, many sideways glances have been observed in school children singing 'My CUNTry tis of thee'.
An interesting note: The word is universally effective, but when it is used by a male, it is estimated to be an additional 50 to 75% MORE effective than when a woman uses it.
"Mom, I can see your cunt through those pants, can't you wear something else?"
...
"Hello 911? I got a hotdog stuck in my dog's cunt, can you help me?"
...
"I have a feeling Mother Theresa kept a spider in her cunt, but I also believe she did a lot of good for the people."
...
"Cunts first" (when opening a door for a lady)
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That kid. The one who never gets invited back unless it's through a friend of a friend.
You know he just doesn't get it, and he never will.
He's not a bad kid, and he's not really retarded. He just bugs you for no specific reason.
You don't call him a fucktard to his face because it's like calling a kid with down syndrome 'retard' to his face. It'd be funny, but you're not going to change him for the better that way.
Dude, I said get me a COKE not a fucking sprite. What the fuck, I hate sprite.
Then later when Joe is gone and your drinking and smoking marijuana with your friends:
"Who was that fuck who got me the sprite today, what was his name?.. Oh yeah, Joe"
"Joe.. what a fucking asshole"
Then you do a goofy face impression of him "Oh ummm I thought you said sprite man, I'm sorry"
"fucking sorry, I'LL give you sorry, I'll shove this fucking straw down your urethra and pump your fucking bean bag full of fucking sprite Joe... sorry ... I fucking HATE sprite ......fucktard"
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