Filipino Mustache

Is when you face plant while skateboarding and you tear the meat off of your upper lip.

Adam: I was skateboarding today and i got a nasty Filipino Mustache.

2👍 13👎

Chick fil a

the best chicken place ever. they invented the chicken sandwich. Every thing on the menu is delicious. It was founded by some baptist priest guy who loved chicken.

so Eat mor chikin! and dont forget the pickles on your sandwich!

Dave: hey wanna go get some Chick fil a?

Matt: I was supposed to go to my grandmothers funeral but.....FUCK YEAH Chick fil a > everything!!!!!!

Dave: thats whats up.

168👍 70👎

Cotton mouthed Carl

When a stoner won't stop complaining about having cotton mouth after smoking.

"Man shut the fuck up about your cotton mouth"

"But it's like someone shoved cotton balls in my mouth"

"Don't be such a Cotton mouthed Carl"

Forest fire rescue

A fun game to play while urinating in a toilet/urinal.
where you pretend that your stream of pee is a fire hose and the water in the toilet or urinal is a forest that is on fire. usually more fun when drunk, as most things are.

Jim: i just drank almost a whole six pack and im ready to let the flood gates open.

Mine as well play "Forest fire rescue" while im in the john.

Jim's imagination: "were gonna need more back up if were gonna save those spider monkeys from this fire"

Jim: Ahhhh =)

9👍 5👎

Pizza politics

when two or more people fight over which restaurant has the superior pizza.

Josh: No way man , mikes pizzeria is the best pizza in town!

Nick: hell no! the crust at mikes pizza is like a cracker. mama mias pizza has deep dish pizzas and that amazing zesty sauce.

Josh: yeah but mikes pizza has free toppings.

Nick: lets decide, ill get a slice from mama mias and you'll get one from mikes and we will decide who is the top pie so we can finally end this pizza politics that has been going on for 5 years

12👍 2👎

Drug store christmas

The horrible gifts from the drug store such as a knock off gaming console, a book with i generic title , or a over priced action figure from something you have never heard of. Then these gifts are given to an unlucky child for christmas.

Mom: ok son open your gift!

little billy: OMGGGG ITS A...fun station 5. 0.o

Mom: Isnt that what you wanted?

little billy: No you dumb bitch, i specifically asked for a playstation 3. wtf is this shit.

Mom: sorry you had a "drug store christmas"

little billy: >=(

6👍 2👎