jacob

This person may not be girlfriend material, but is always available to give a shoulder to cry on. Jacob is a very loud and energetic person and may sometimes annoy you, but when you need him to be there he sure will try.

Girl: That Jacob sure is a piece of work!
Boy: No, he is nice. He is okay with being friendzoned and his fat is warm and comforting.

Feeding the Dog

The act of inserting dry dog food into the foreskin of a penis and "chewing" it by pushing the foreskin backwards and forwards repeatedly.

Mom: Eric, what are you doing out there?
Eric: I am just feeding the dog, mom.

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